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“I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it’s the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It’s probably the most important thing in a person.” Audrey Hepburn
Sometimes, we all need a little light-heartedness in our lives, and where better to get that than this original poem by Pam Neill? Pam is a friend and colleague of 15 years or more – we find it best not to count the years, to be honest! This poem is about a cheeky grey pony we both knew, whose stable was near Pam’s back door. I treated Humphrey every month and did my best to avoid his tendency for dramatics. I love it when I can treat a horse every month or every six weeks. That’s the frequency I choose for treatment for myself when I can prioritise is, and I find it works well for the horses. My focus is on the prevention of problems, care of comfort, and promotion of performance. That’s for me, and for the horses!
Anyway, enough thinking about work, enjoy Pam’s poem!
Radio Humphrey, a poem by Pam Neill
I start at seven every day, five if Jason’s been to stay
I broadcast to him what we need – you’re up now man, give us some feed!
He tends to go whatever I say. Can’t he just give us some hay?
It really is not much to ask. Come on now Jason do this task!
I’ve had enough of this overnight fasting, it must be about time to start broadcasting.
Behind the blind I can see a glow so it’s nearly time to start the show!
Radio Humphrey is ready and able to entertain right from this stable!
Another dawn of another day and again I find I have so much to say!
I hear the door, they’ll appear in a tick. I call out my joy, “Come on girls, quick!”
Radio Humphrey is up and running, “Hey there gang, our breakfast is coming!”
“Morning Charlotte, Morning Pam! Straight to the feed room now, no! Damn!
Don’t start talking. Now’s not the time. Get the buckets, the turquoise is mine!”
The only times I don’t kick up a storm is when I’m eating as I can’t perform.
Apologies, then, I’m unable to say what can keep you updated on events of the day.
But as soon as I’ve eaten I’ll return to the list and fill in the blanks you may have missed.
I’ll keep the yard well in the loop and make sure you’re the first to get any scoop.
If any of our needs are not being met, I’ll be sure to let you know and yet
I notice you can be quite slow which is a thing I must not let go!
I’d hate you to let your standards slip, you must buck up and get a grip!
I’ll keep you right with a frequent reminder. Your response to this though, I’d thought would be kinder!
Why do you keep on yelling my name? Some days I think you have both gone insane!
I know my help you highly rate, don’t worry, it will not abate.
I’ll broadcast daily loud and clear and always make sure you can hear
Wherever on the farm you are, you’re sure to hear me near or far.
I don’t switch off ‘til nearly ten, it’s dark and we’ve been well fed then.
When hay is gone, it’s time to sleep, restore the energy I keep
To help me stay in good, strong voice, I know it’s hard but I have no choice.
It’s a sacrifice I have to make. You rely on me for goodness sake!
So goodnight folks, that’s me away, another end of a tiring day.
I’m signing off for a few hours at least, until the sun will rise in the east.
Radio Humphrey with all of it’s zest is ready now for a well earned rest.
Don’t worry, there’s no need for sorrow, I will be back for sure tomorrow!
Pam Neill, January 2021
Sue Palmer MCSP, aka The Horse Physio, is an award-winning author, educator, and Chartered Physiotherapist. Sue specialises in understanding the links between equine pain and behaviour, focusing on prevention, partnership and performance. She promotes the kind and fair treatment of horses through empathetic education, and is registered with the RAMP, the ACPAT, the IHA, the CSP and the HCPC.
To arrange a phone call or online coaching session with Sue Palmer, The Horse Physio, click here.
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Horse Health Check: The 10-Point Plan for Physical Wellness
Head to Hoof: An Introduction to Horse Massage
Horse Massage for Horse Owners
Stretching Your Horse: A Guide to Keeping Your Equine Friend Happy and Healthy
Kissing Spines In Horses: Preventive Measures and Long-Term Management Solutions
Harmonious Horsemanship, co-authored with Dr Sue Dyson
Understanding Horse Performance: Brain, Pain or Training?
Horse Massage for Horse Owners
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